As God designed Noah’s flood for reinvention, He likewise floods the hearts of mothers. The initial rush wipes away youth, leaving in its wake responsibilities. The waters cover the past, veiling the appeal. She can never again fathom singular. No, it was a story she read, a movie she watched. Always, always, she was your mother. She could not have belonged to herself, to slumber parties, to schoolyard crushes, to silly things.
How many times have you heard someone say to an ex that they'll never do better? Hell, I've told plenty of my girlfriends over the years that their jerk-face ex will never do better, and I truly meant it.
The stress and strain of it all will eventually crash down on you and topple your health. But, before that happens, you will contemplate suicide. Every day, all day, you will fight the urge to just be done with it. Your favorite time of day will be bedtime, when everyone is asleep, and you no longer have to pretend that you're okay. You will be simultaneously relieved and devastated that no one notices the precipice one step in front of you.
Have you ever sexually harassed anyone at work? What does sexual harassment look like to you?
Technically I have, I guess, sexually harassed coworkers at one former company. From asking my male boss if I could get corporate reimbursement for sex toys if those items were purchased under the guise of networking to trying to coerce my male coworker into doing a photoshoot at the office that he thought was going to be professional, but in reality I (along with my boss and another male officemate) planned to bind him with pink furry handcuffs, cover his mouth with Hello Kitty duct tape, and pose him getting spanked with a pink riding crop. (Unfortunately, he became too suspicious and refused to participate.)
Recently I asked a question on Facebook about how much freedom one needed in a relationship. Not surprisingly, the viewpoints were as varied as the individuals responding. Some reported needing little to no personal freedom, while others felt that trust should be the foundation to support any of their autonomous choices. The word trust was used again and again. But what exactly is trust between two adults in a loving, committed relationship? What does it look like and how much does it weigh when measuring the solidity of a union?
Walgreens sells a lot of odd shit because they have that entire "As Seen on TV" aisle. Sometimes I buy the odd shit, even though I didn't see it on TV, because sometimes odd shit is captivating. One time I bought astronaut underwear -- which was basically an adult diaper with less stigma and a galaxy print. It was a gag gift...because I'm a generous person.
The Facebook platform is a perfect perch for social observation. When you have the opportunity to interact with thousands of people, or silently witness their interplay, you learn things. Sometimes it’s things you never wanted to know. For example, I don’t feel particularly enriched by the awareness of how few people know the difference between your and you’re. When it comes to gender insight, however, Facebook has given me quite an education.
Despite all his romantic tribulations, N doesn't seem deterred in looking for his new Pooh Bear with sexy lips who will suck his fingers and call him Pumpkin Mumpkin. Needless to say, N has very specific wants in a relationship. And he doesn't hesitate to always point out that his new Pooh Bear is way hotter than his old Pooh Bear.
Meet "R." R likes to razzle dazzle the ladies (or felines as he calls them) with his poetry and shirtless photos of himself, especially his nipples.
In short, a man can work two jobs, do all the housework, be dad of the year, volunteer at local charities, and be given the key to the city by a grateful mayor, but his wife can still be unhappy. By now you must think that women are crazy and demanding. Heh, sometimes we are. But there is one thing a man can do that will absolutely devastate his relationship, and this thing will typically go unrecognized, even in marriage counseling.