Friend Request Fail: The Angry Pumpkin Mumpkin

What can I say about "N" that could possibly do him justice? He is a man of inconsistencies. 

N regularly changes his relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship" to "engaged" to "single" again, sometimes all in one day. In at least one relationship update, his supposed love interest calls him an ass and denies they're in a relationship.

And if the comments are any indication, his Facebook friends are getting tired of his lies, verbal abuse, and games. One friend (who he refers to as "Hitler cunt D") posted a nice rooster meme to his timeline which read, "Knock knock. Who's there? No one. You forgot to take your meds again." It sounds as if Hitler Cunt D may know N on a personal level.

Additionally, he posted a couple of photos of a woman with a baby, claiming that was his ex girlfriend and his infant daughter. Several people then commented that he had no children. 

Despite all his romantic tribulations, N doesn't seem deterred in looking for his new Pooh Bear with sexy lips who will suck his fingers and call him Pumpkin Mumpkin. Needless to say, N has very specific wants in a relationship. And he doesn't hesitate to always point out that his new Pooh Bear is way hotter than his old Pooh Bear.

I'm not sure if N has Tourette's or what, but he seems to projectile vomit expletives. He did say some guy had a Lego penis, so I'm still pondering whether that was an insult or not.